I’ve been pretty depressed lately…
My hiatus from blogging was the result of a much needed period of thinking about the future, given my recent decision to leave graduate school and begin the “real world” career hunt. I think at this point a review on the journey thus far would make sense! I apologize for my absence; I even attracted the attention of Christina from FeelGoodKnitting since my spinning on Tuesdays dropped off due to my pondering. In truth, these past few months on the job market and coming face-to-face with the reality of the “power” of a bachelor’s degree (*cough*) has been awful. I just haven’t had it in me to write or keep up with much of anything.
Having a BA hasn’t made a difference in my job search. Not one shred of a difference. Everyone I manage to get an interview with, which was about 7-8 jobs out of over 80 applications, wanted experience. As I have said before, the job market is slanted heavily towards employers. In this rotten economy, there are far fewer jobs than applicants, so employers can sit back and wait for the perfect person with a load of experience to show up. I have never been that person. Even after applying for an utterly perfect position for my education, a sex/sexual health educator for Planned Parenthood, it still amounted to nothing but a great interview that went nowhere. Every single time, I fall short of some super-experienced powerhouse who lands the position. I also have several State jobs that I have applied and taken tests for and am subsequently qualified, that have sat in limbo for months.
At this point, I have begun reconsidering graduate school. I feel pretty defeated. I have applied for the GLP in the Department of Education, which is the Graduate Licensure Program at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. I have always loved teaching; I pursued elementary education as my BA originally, but changed my mind after being told I had prerequisites on top of prerequisites to actually get my BA. I will keep you all posted, but honestly, I still feel disillusioned and unhappy with the idea of attending a graduate program. Especially after facing the reality of my BA’s worth over the past few months. Being depressed has really cut into my knitting and spinning. I just haven’t wanted to do anything I enjoy.
There have been other things going on though! I have been working through the convoluted and expensive process to get a substitute teaching license, so I hope to be doing something and earning income fairly soon. Also, I just got back from six days in New York City with my husband Al. We went museum hopping and got to enjoy a huge amount of cuisines…if there is anything that is great about New York City, it’s the abundance of very good food (and the fantastic tap water, I kid you not. Try Nevada’s tap, with its heavy magnesium
A mix of 1/3 wheat flour and 2/3 white flour loaf with the worse scoring (the cuts on the top of the loaf) I have EVER done o_O
and calcium content, and you’ll see what I mean). The trip was thoroughly exhausting though; Al and I literally spent 10-12 hours a day running around the city on foot –and not the leisurely type strolling, either. We stayed with friends in their apartment, which was a fine and large apartment, especially for New York, but I’m sure my readers will agree that it’s difficult to fully relax in someone else’s home. So, sleep and rest were not adequate, resulting in exhaustion and major soreness from street-hiking all day. I’ve been in recovery mode since Tuesday.
On a happier note, I have resumed a hobby I have been neglecting since Al and I moved into the new place: bread making! I LOVE to make artisan and standard breads by hand, and being without work or school to keep me occupied, I really needed something else besides knitting and spinning…especially since I was avoiding both activities.
Making bread is completely wonderful and very inexpensive. I can’t think of a single thing that is unpleasant about making bread. And,
A slice of cinnamon-sugar swirl loaf. I glazed the top with a vanilla icing which makes the whole thing taste like a cinnabon!
despite what many think, making bread by hand is not difficult, but it can take a lifetime to perfect. Bread is actually made up of four major ingredients: flour, yeast, water and salt. If you mix these few things in proportion to the amount of flour (a calculation called baker’s measurements or baker’s math) you will get a standard white bread dough. Most bread has several other ingredients such as sugar, a fat such as butter, and even nuts, fruit and/or seeds. You can also use other types of flour, such as whole wheat flour, to change things up or accommodate a particular diet. Here is a site I really enjoy: thefreshloaf.com. I have the link set up to take you right to the “Lessons” page on the site, so you can see for yourself how simple bread making by hand really is. Give it a try! I’d love to see some pictures of any other bread artisans…!
I am trying to get myself back on knitting and spinning again, so hopefully I should have some more project pictures soon! I’m shooting to resume spinning my wool skein this coming Tuesday along with feelgoodknitting.
Glad to hear from you again! I love bread making too – bread and soup in winter; bread and cheese in summer. Yum. As to the job/school thing, it’s not (just) you. It took Hubby almost a year to get a job after getting home from Afghanistan, and he applied to close to 150. My best friend has people with PhDs applying to be her part-time assistant because they just need a job. The market sucks right now. Good luck!
Thanks Christina! I know it’s a bad market, my husband rinds me all the time, but it’s tough to wait and wait. I appreciate your support, you were a big part of how I got the willpower to write again.
We’ll see how the GLP program comes along; I’m studying for the Praxis I right now, which is quite a stress (I’m sure you know all about it). I’ll keep you posted and thanks for the invite to your Rav group!
I sent out an email and resume to a jury consulting firm and in the morning discovered a forceful reply email … very interested in meeting me. We sent emails back and forth, and I was asked to a person-to-person interview. A few days later I had three hours worth of interviews which continued over lunch. The result? I NEVER heard back from them – anything … despite my email, text and phone messages (1 of each). That is so unprofessional it is staggering! I think the ability to “mask” oneself allows people to behave badly. Another time I interviewed for an senior analyst position with a public organization (I think it was an appellate or a federal court). The moment I walked in the room I knew it would be bad: No one in the room would meet my eyes AND they, as they were quick to boast, had all “grown up in the court” (trans: no education, no other experience). One of the women said, very sarcastically, “do you really think you’re qualified to do anything with a PhD?” (I don’t think she got past the education part of my cv/resume.) Now that pissed me off … and I responded, “I certainly hope so … after all, people like you send your children to people like me for education.” :/
Wow, I guess it REALLY isn’t just me wondering what the hell is up with the employment world. Those experiences of yours where nuts! I mean, what IS that? The great interview taking up an entire day or several days that leads to nothing, and the devil-may-care employers who apparently don’t really to need any employees. Ugh. I have to say though Karen, you’re comebacks are absolutely solid. I STILL talk about the comment you made to that one male student of yours who didn’t want to be in the Women and Politics class!
I hope I can land a great quip like that to some deserving dumb ass one day…
Thanks for the comment, hope you’re doing well
Don’t give up hope or looking. Keep trying. Maybe your love of knitting and bread making could lead to jobs you haven’t considered. Glad you had a fun NYC visit– so much to do and see and yes, great tap water- from upstate NY.
You’re right, something unexpected may come along. It’s a good reason to keep practicing the other things I love. Thank you for your comment!
Good luck! I’m sure everything will work out. I don’t know how Ed Schools are in Nevada, but I’m currently getting my undergrad licence in Virginia. I do almost all of my classes with the Grad Students, though, so I hope I know what I’m talking about when I say that, although it’s a little stressful, it’s not hard, and it’s totally worth it when you go into the schools to student teach! Plus, there’s always jobs for teachers, as long as you’re willing to put up with working in not-so-ideal situations.
I’m glad to hear from another education enthusiast! Yeah, my main issue with being a grad student is that I’m uncomfortable with the institution; the bull-crud bureaucracy and the elitism. But I know that it’s the only way to get licensed, if that’s what I want. It’s very tough having been educated as a sociology student, trained to uncover and critically examine inequality in institutions, but then have to bend over and relent to it to get ahead…or anywhere for that matter. Thanks for your comment! The support is great
Don’t let it get you down, Sarah! I’ve had the same problem, except at the opposite end of life. I’ve had a ton of experience (I’m 51 years old) but no one wants to hire a 51 year old woman. I’m not old or decrepit, I look, feel and think young and I’ve kept my skills current. Finally, shaking my head in disbelief, I took a long, hard look at what I really wanted to do and did it. Keep knitting!
Thanks so much for your comment! I’m sorry to hear that you, like so many others have commented both here and elsewhere, have gone through this. It sounds like its worked out for the best though, so I’m working on keeping high spirits and baking and fiber art-ing it away these days.
My husband has been traveling for business nearly every week for about 2 months now, which doesn’t help. Funny how loud your mind is when it very, very quiet at home.